Ready for a ring on your finger but your partner is dragging his feet? Ultimatums are a risky business and can ultimately backfire. So if your partner needs a subtle nudge in the direction of the wedding aisle, here are 5 ways to get him or her to propose.*

Hint hint, nudge nudge

While there may be various reasons that your partner hasn’t proposed yet, fear of rejection could be one of them. If you’ve never actually talked about getting married or shared your plans for the future, he may be holding out of fear of his ego being dented with a rejection. Thankfully, this fear can be easily eliminated with a few hints. Rather than going all out with an: “I need to be engaged by Christmas, or else” ultimatum, casually start working the topic into conversations so that he knows you’re open to the idea. Whether it’s talking about a friend’s wedding, or your take on a marriage scene in a TV show or film, try applying the topic to your life to see if your partner bites.

Let’s talk rings

If the above hasn’t worked, it’s time to take things to the next level. Another reason that he hasn’t yet popped the question is out of fear of choosing the wrong ring. If your partner veers more towards the traditional side, he or she probably doesn’t envision getting down on one knee without a ring. And because this can be a perplexing area, they’re probably terrified they’ll get it wrong. With so much to contend with – diamond or gemstone, gold or silver, princess or pear, it’s not surprising that he’s probably a bit baffled by it all. Again, subtlety is key. When mentioning a friend’s engagement ring, talk about what you like (or don’t like) about it. He’ll start to build up a picture of what you’d prefer, diminishing any worries in the process.

Take to social media

We don’t mean going cray-cray on Facebook! Avoid tagging your other half in engagement announcements and honeymoon offers. Keep it low key with a secret board on Pinterest. Add a few snaps of your ideas of the perfect wedding. Most men probably haven’t thought much further than getting engaged and are (probably) a bit scared about the idea of an actual wedding. Unless he’s been to loads of weddings, he probably doesn’t really know what to expect. He’s most likely envisioning an OTT, extravagant celebrity affair. So a few suggestions as to what you have in mind, while keep his worries at bay.

Call in a friend

There’s no harm in calling in a friend to do some digging! Get them to be casual about it, jokingly saying they’d love to see a ring on your finger, rather than demanding to know their intentions. Chances are, he won’t suspect you’re behind it and it’s an easy way to uncover what he’s really thinking.

Be honest

If all else fails, be honest! No tricks here, just an open and honest conversation between two people about what your future could involve. Again, avoid the ultimatum of putting dates and times on the table. Instead try to create a picture of where things are going, telling him you’d love to get married one day. If he feels the same, you’ll both relax safe in the knowledge that your time will come.

*Employing these tactics doesn’t guarantee that your partner will actually propose.